C.J. EHRLICH
playwright
opposite the Riverside Theatre, Bristol PA
PLAYS
Shorts (10 min, 15-20 min, short-shorts)
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- to request complete scripts &
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inquire about production rights contact CJ
Ten-minute shorts
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•2 + 1 = MURDER Cast: 4 (2F/2M or 1F/3M), noir comedy
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• ALL’S FAIR IN LOVE AND SCIENCE Cast: 2M, comedy
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•THE BLACK BOX Cast: 3 (1F, 2M, flexible)
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• THE ENTIRE PUNCH BOWL Cast: 4 (2F, 1M, 1 flex), comedy
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•FLASH DATE Cast: 5 (includes Crew), comedy
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• HOME SWEET HOMELAND SECURITY Cast: 4 (2F, 2M), 8m comedy
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•INTERVENTION Cast: 5 (2F, 3M, flexible), comedy
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• IT SKIPS A GENERATION Cast: 2 (1F, teens, 1M, 70s), dramedy
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•THE LILAC TICKET Cast: 2 (1F, 1M), dramedy
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• THE NINTH CIRCUS OF HELL Cast: 2 (1F, 1M), comedy
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•NOIR IN SECOND CLASS Cast: 2 (1F, 1M), noir comedy
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• NON-FLUORIDATED WATER Cast: 2 (1F, 1M), comedy
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•PACKAGE DEAL Cast: 3 (2F, 1M), comedy
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• SECONDHAND GIFTS Cast: 2F, dramedy
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• SNOW DOWN AT THE NORTH POLE Cast: 5 (2F, 2M, 1 flex), holiday comedy
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• SPARE SOME CHANGE Cast: 2 (1F, 1M), dramedy
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•WAITING FOR HUGOT Cast: 2 (1F, 1M), comedy
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•WE DON’T CARE ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS AT ALL Cast 4 (2F, 2M), holiday comedy)
2 + 1 = MURDER (noir comedy, 1F, 2M, 1F/M - 10 min)
Private dick Blaze Pascal will solve this case by the numbers. Film noir, meet Math 101.
--“A delight!” - Noah Fredericks, Spokane Radio Theatre
● * Published- “Best Ten-Minute Plays of 2015,” Smith & Kraus
All’s Fair in Love and Science (comedy, 2M - 10 min)
Two dads compete in a high stakes game: the elementary school science fair.
--“Uproarious - The play is a riot!” - Elizabeth Young, Newtown Bee Review
Andy Carter Becomes a Man (comedy, 1F, 1M, 1 teenager - 10 min)
“You’re a youth vampire! You want me to do the ceremony so you can suck the experience out of me!”
● Piper Theatre Productions, VIDEO.
THE BLACK BOX (comedy, 1F, 2M, gender flexible - 10 min)
The boys are selling, but the customer’s not buying. What does it do? What wonders does it contain? Who’s going to let the cat out of the black box?
THE ENTIRE PUNCH BOWL (comedy, 2F, 1M, 1f/m - 10 min)
Three terrified alumni need hard-core emergency therapy to walk down that red carpet to the reunion. But hey, who really remembers the random tortures of high school? Uh... everybody. Shania to the rescue!
FLASH DATE (comedy, 1F, 2M, 1F/M, stagehands - 10m)
Why stick around ‘til a relationship gets messy? Get in, get out, get Mr. Right.
Staged in the audience, on the stage and outside the theatre
Home Sweet Homeland Security (comedy, 2F, 2M - 10 min) *
Two couples get to know each other over drinks of 4 oz. or less
● * Published - “G-Men in G-Strings: The J Edgar Hoover Follies Anthology” Heuer Publishing
INtERVENtion (comedy, 2F, 4M -10 min)
A diverse group of acquaintances gather to confront Leon with his problem.
Trouble is, not everyone knows what the problem IS.
● * Published- “Best Ten-Minute Plays of 2014,” Smith & Kraus
It Skips a Generation (comic drama, 1F-teen, 1M-70s - 12 min)
In 1980s Brooklyn, an ultra-Orthodox teenager and her estranged grandfather bond over an album of yellowed newspaper clippings.
The Lilac Ticket (comedy/romance, 1F, 1M, seniors - 10 min)
Sam and Barb confront two crises that threaten to tear their 50-year marriage apart: one happening now, in the doctor’s office, and the other, a long-buried secret.
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-“I was spellbound.” - David Suissa, LA Jewish Journal
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-“Absolutely beautiful play” - Jim Hatch, Artistic Director, Boquete Players
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-“Great laughs” - Patrick Gabridge, The Writing Life x3
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-“Eat my pickles. Wear clean underwear. Marry a doctor.” - Bubbies of Los Angeles
● Published in The Best American Short Plays of 2014-15, Applause/Hal Leonard. ● For full list of productions and awards, see "Productions" page. Script sample available on request. The Ninth Circus of Hell (dark comedy, 1F, 1M - 10 min) * Love, lust, popcorn and one sexy moose. Andrew pines for Maya like Dante for Beatrice, and oh, what agonies he’ll suffer for her! Those nude photos? Just proof of his love. Hell is for wimps! Today there will be clowns. ● * Published - “Best Ten-Minute Plays of 2013,” Smith & Kraus Noir in Second Class (comedy, 1F, 1M, 1 voice or walk-on - 10 min) * Sometimes this couple live in two difference movies. ● * Published - “Best Ten-Minute Plays of 2011,” Smith & Kraus Non-Fluoridated Water (dark comedy, 1F, 1M -10 min) As Sondra tries to organize a dinner party with nothing but a lemon, her dentist boyfriend (and aspiring cavity terrorist) obsesses over just desserts OCCUPY THIS! (a duo of short comedies) Spare Some Change. An entrepreneurial homeless man tries to convince a businesswoman to invest in his lunch. (1F, 1M) View from the Occupy Bridge. A noob in everyone’s favorite 99 percent movement struggles to articulate their demands. (3F, 2M) - comment on the play in the Republican Theatre Festival, with my adorable assistant. Package Deal (comedy, 1F, 1M, 1F/M - 10 min) On a bargain tour of Eastern Europe, a couple try to preserve their clandestine relationship, and stay out of prison. --”Enjoyable comedic piece... modulating between heartfelt emotions and...surrealism...” - Express Milwaukee. PICNIC ON THE LAKE (gothic horror, 1F, 1M - 10 min) A romantic picnic by an alpine lake escalates into an almost obscene feast, shared by lovers hungering for revenge. “These eighteen 10-Minute Plays have been selected from more than 500 nationwide submissions. Together, they serve as a sampler of some of the sharpest, wittiest, most incisive, and thought-provoking writing going on in America today.” - Source DC Festival. Secondhand Gifts (dramedy 2F - 10 min) Over coffee and hand-me-downs, two sisters argue about childrearing, commiserate over the past, and learn that the best gift of all is family. ● Heideman Award Finalist SNOW DOWN AT THE NORTH POLE (holiday comedy, 6 char, 10 min) It’s crunch time in Santa’s Call Center. There’s a blizzard outside and an efficiency expert getting in everybody’s way. Can the Elves push back technology and keep their jobs? Caroling optional. STANDING ROOM ONLY (romantic comedy, 1F, 2M - 10 min) He wants -- a seat; he gets -- an earful. A play about second chances. *Great showcase for an actor skilled with dialects. Take a Left at the War Zone (comedy, 2F, 1M -10 min) Return to the thrilling Reagan era, where a war could start on a beach and end with a margarita. ● n.u.f.a.n. Ensemble, “8 Minutes in the 80s” Chicago, IL, 2010 Three’s a Cloud (LGBT-friendly screwball comedy, 2F, 1M - 10 m) When her ex storms the honeymoon suite, Margot realizes today’s raincloud could be tomorrow’s tornado. Fasten your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy honeymoon! ★ Script Sample -Three’s a Cloud WAITING FOR HUGOT (comedy, 1F, 1M - 10 min) A frustrated screenwriter ineptly stalks a minor celebrity, so she’ll write him his ticket out of “nowhere.” His wife has other plans. WE DON’T CARE ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS AT ALL (comedy, 2F, 2M - 10 min) Two couples, thrown together by their kids’ shotgun, mixed-marriage wedding, try not to let holiday traditions get in the way. 15 to 20+ min shorts HOMESPUN WEBS LAB RATS 2F, 15 min magic realism/comedy 3F, 15 min, surreal comedy LIKE MANNA IN THE DESERT STANDING ROOM ONLY Cast: 4 (2F, 2M, 1 flex), 20m comedy Cast: 3 (1F, 2M), 15m dramedy LONG TRAIN RUNNING THREE’S A CLOUD 2M, 15m Cast: 3 (2F, 1M) 15m LGBT bedroom farce PICNIC ON THE LAKE TUESDAYS IN THE PARK Cast: 2 (1F, 1M), 15m horror-drama WITH RIVER APPLE 5F, 15+m comedy THE RED & GREEN ROOM WHOM DEATH DOTH S/EEEk Cast: 4 (1F, 2M, 1 flex), 20m comedy Cast: 4 (2F, 2M), 15m adult comedy ROOM CIRCUS ZANE TO GATE 69 Cast: 3 (2F, 1M), 30m LGBT bedroom farce Cast: 3 (2F, 2M) 45m time travel comedy SHREW MAN vs. SHREWMAN Cast: 4 (1F, 2M, 1 flex), 20m comedy HOMESPUN WEBS: Imagining Louise Bourgeois (comedy/magical realism, 2F - 15 min) Alone and drunk in her new apartment, newly-divorced Madeline’s about to lose it--until she’s interrupted by an unlikely visitor who wants to talk spiders.’ LAB RATS (surreal comedy, 3F - 15 min) Two stressed scientists struggle with bizarre changes in their routine, as they work to develop the ultimate junk food.
Like manna in the desert (comedy, 2F, 2M - 15 min)
“Big Brother” is up the mountain conferencing with You Know Who again. Down in the Sinai, Maya and Yosi take a breather and ask, “Are we there yet?”
● Finalist Temple Players “Tribal Humor 7” Trumball, CT 2013.
--”Very clever, good-natured satire with lots of laughs.”
LONG TRAIN RUNNING (2M - 15 min)
Two musicians traveling on a cross country train play fast
and loose with everything they’ve got.
The Red & Green Room (comedy, 1F, 2M, 1 either - 15-20 min)
No Exit, meet the Mario Brothers!
Three actors chafe and fume in the Green Room while the star hogs all the stage time. But it’s not his fault - he just can’t get to the higher levels.
Love, lust, jealousy and existential angst, behind the scenes at a video arcade.
SHREW MAN vs. SHREWMAN (comedy, 1F, 2M, 1F/M - 15-25 min)
The last, the rarest, the only banned “Shrewman” comic has finally resurfaced. Now everyone wants to get their claws on it.
An epic tale of comic proportions.
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-“Borders on the insane” - Terry Shea, Motif Magazine, Providence RI
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-Samuel French Off-Off-Broadway Festival, 2014
Tuesdays in the Park with River Apple
(comedy, 5F - 20 min, adult language)
Abby’s new to the city and to full-time motherhood. Who knew joining a playgroup could be so hard? Play nice, ladies!
Whom Death Doth S/EEEk (adult comedy, 2F, 2M - 20 min)
Sexy model Yulia’s angling for a pair of pricey pumps, her plus-sized friend Stef’s daring her to charm the sales clerk into a quickie discount, and a mysterious stranger’s appeared, knowing way too much about Yulia’s shopping history. This dark, sexy comedy will have you quaking in your stilettos and cleaning out your closets!
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★ Script Sample - Whom Death
ZANE TO GATE 69 (sci fi comedy, 2F, 1M, 1 flex - 45 min)
A handler from the future briefs a bumbling secret agent on what could be his - and humanity's - last mission. But will she be in time?
--“Delightfully ridiculous - Daffy fun -
The show is as entertaining as Zane is clueless. Don’t miss it.”” - Deborah Martin, My San Antonio.com
1 to 5 minute short-shorts
ASK ZSUZSANNA: SINGLE MOTHERHOOD AT 50 (1F: comic monologue)
Tips on navigating divorce, city life, crazy patients and play groups.
Four Epics and a Critic (in One Page) (2F, 2M, 2 either)
More stories than you can imagine burst out of this one-page comedy
One Smart Cookie (2F, 1M - 3 min)
Sometimes the cookie just... knows. read the play
OOH baby, let’s go for it (1F, 1M - 2 min)
“Well Daddy, since you’re holding a gun to my head...” A pro-choice rumination.
- “Striking. It resonates.” -- SLUT Fest
● Winner, GAN-e-meed Theatre Project, Not a Box New Play Fest, Boston MA, 2011
The Things They Don’t Tell Us (1F, 1M - 1 min)
Two spies are dying to come in from the cold.
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-“Super theatrical!” -- Mind the Gap, World Theatre Day audience
WRYLY (1F, 2M - 3 min)
A coed, a nerd and a jock sally shyly, loosely, drunkenly, and heroically through a frat party.
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Other Short Plays
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•Finding His Sea Legs (2M, 10m) - dark comedy
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How far would you go to keep your job? into international waters?
● Black Ship Productions “Any Port in a Storm” (selection), Chicago, IL. 2011.
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• Mafiance´ Wars (2F, 2M, 1F/M, 10m) - dark comedy
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A couple fighting over wedding plans escape into an overdose of virtual reality.
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Games - they’re not just fun and marriage.
● Finalist: Stonington Players, Table and Chairs VI, Stonington, CT. 2012.
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•No Vacancies (1F, 1M, 1F/M, 1 Elvis, 10m) - drama
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In a violent futuristic dystopia, a couple haggle for the last room in the Solstice rush. What never happened yesterday could change tomorrow tonight.
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•Not Another Origin Story (2F, 1M, 10m) - rom com
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Carlita has no patience for comics or cons, until she meets a decidedly unsuper hero.
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•Passage to Delhi (4W, 1M, 45m) - dramedy
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When a dutiful daughter invites her aging mother to move in, neither of them suspect how the gradual onset of Alzheimer’s disease will change their lives.
